Anonymous asked: Your dick is probably like a tic tac hahahahhahaha
That’s probably why your moms mouth is so fresh
She texted me: “Your adorable.”
I replied: “No. YOU’RE adorable.”
Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo.
one time i was going to feed my dog a fruit and i picked up an orange but i was 4 am so i just threw the orange at his face and somehow that orange disappeared i swear to god he ate that whole orange with one bite and i dont know how
i was 4 am
tumblr user lolinepeta planned to feed his pet dog so hard, he became a measurement of time.